your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
