i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Rumble strips road head = magical
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
