my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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