I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i've created a new STD.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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