brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
