erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
