I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
