I want to make a zoo with you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
