The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
