we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
