i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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