haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize