Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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