Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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