i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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