I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
