I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
