Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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