I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
