My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
