I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
