When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We are two peas in an std pod
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
