Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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