Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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