was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it hurts more in the daytime
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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