I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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