Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
