Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
