So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just google imaged poop.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize