my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
