I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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