just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My underwear smells like fireworks.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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