just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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