She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
third nipple confirmed
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
