Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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