I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
