maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
