weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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