I think scott just propositioned me for sex
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
dude. I can hear the air.
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