Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
