You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my shit smells like andre
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
