yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Barsexuality is the new black.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
