Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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