whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
