Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
