You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
