Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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