Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
