I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
