my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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