this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
