nut hugger
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize