Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
