Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
