Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
