jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
