wanna go halves on a baby?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
