I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
