your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
