I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
