There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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