Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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