we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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