I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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