so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
