But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
