he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
