I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
