You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When did angry sex become our thing?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
