Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
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