His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
