Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
