i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize