he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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