"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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