I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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