i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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