the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
